Sherry’s Blog

Existential and Culinary Angst at the Whole Foods…

         Today I visited our new Whole Foods in Kennesaw, Georgia. I am quite familiar with this chain as I travel a good bit, and often I spend a month in the summer in Vancouver. I was excited to have one so near…and apparently so was every other resident of Kennesaw, Marietta, and their out of town relatives, friends, and enemies. The store is massive and lovely in every way, much bigger than other Whole Foods I have visited. For the three minutes I was in the store, everything looked amazing—fresh, appealing, healthful! 

         Today I visited our new Whole Foods in Kennesaw, Georgia. I am quite familiar with this chain as I travel a good bit, and often I spend a month in the summer in Vancouver. I was excited to have one so near…and apparently so was every other resident of Kennesaw, Marietta, and their out of town relatives, friends, and enemies. The store is massive and lovely in every way, much bigger than other Whole Foods I have visited. For the three minutes I was in the store, everything looked amazing—fresh, appealing, healthful! 

         Let me say that I am an extroverted introvert. I can deal with crowds and be perfectly normal in any social situation. I am a booking agent for celebrities, so I often must play this role successfully. And I don’t end up somewhere in the corner, curled up in the fetal position (usually! Ha!). I take loads of actors to Dragon Con for four days every Labor Day and have survived many other crowded events. But do I love crowds, no. I will take a small group of intimates any day. Or just my cat. And sometimes my cat and I need space from each other.

       What I experienced today at Whole Foods could be described as somewhere between the food court at Dragon Con during Saturday lunch and the Marrakech Souk (market) in Morocco! Wild-eyed suburbanites with 2.5 children in tow were mercilessly grabbing for everything in sight, desperate to spend 10 dollars on a sweet potato or some Aegean seaweed with Himalayan pink salt garnish! I decided that there must be some kind of existential/culinary deficiency here in the soul of the Southern Burbs so extreme that these shoppers became like devotees at a Bacchanalia. A steady diet of Wal-Mart tomatoes and Publix spinach has driven them to cut loose with wild abandon when presented with farm-fresh cucumbers and artesian gnocchi. 

        After three minutes of this frenzy, I was overcome by such a severe case of “Nope” that I had to leave without purchase. I barely escaped with my life and was almost impaled by a hipster with a particularly stabby bunch of carrots. It was an exceptional and sociologically interesting scene. Most of these people are the grandchildren or great-grandchildren of farmers. Perhaps they are subconsciously trying to regain their agrarian past in the only way available to them distanced from this way of life by fast cars, asphalt, and Netflix.

         I will certainly return to the Whole Foods once the hoards have worked this all out of their systems, eating their fill of fresh Arugula with mint, barley, and a raspberry/artichoke essence. I too feel the call. But for now, I will stick with Publix, and maybe try Whole Foods next time by waiting at the door for them to open at 7 AM when the hipsters are still slumbering in their 6,000 thread count sheets (I have those sheets, too—don’t judge!). Now, I will go make my salad with my ordinary lettuce, Wal-Mart tomatoes, less than superior olive oil, and dream….

                  Sherry Fowler, Oct. 6, 2017  https://www.eater.com/2011/6/14/6675133/watch-the-rap-video-whole-foods-parking-lot